If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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