oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want nice things and good sex
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
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