I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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