Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
