Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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