Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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