Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
