OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
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We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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