I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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