Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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