Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
