I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
