Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
