Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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