Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
