He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
love makes seman taste better
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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