You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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