I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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