yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you would pick up someone in the library
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
