I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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