actually, I'm a sock model
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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