just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
