remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
