i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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