But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
