he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
