That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
