you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
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The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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