I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
