I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
