also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
