Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
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I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
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Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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