You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
