Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
