Sponge bath it is.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
