We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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