Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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