She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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