I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
