it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
