Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I got inside last night via doggy door
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
