I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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