Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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