I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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