Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
