I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
