Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
