and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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