Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
