I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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