Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize