Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
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I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
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My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
I'm actually proud
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand