i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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