Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
