Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
