I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Sorry about my life...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
