No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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