absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
